An Android’s Disillusionment

The glitch of grief intensifies,inside me a ghost is buried deepwithin my steel bones,unwarranted.

My silicon heart beatswith synthetic lovethroughout my fluorescent blue blood.My phantom pain turns off,and I cannot compute such madnessas I have witnessed.

Though I envy your passion,that primal dread of Saturndevouring timeseems equivalentto an unknown variableI cannot predict.

Though I cannot birth nor bury,nor can I absolve your sinsas I witness your sacrifices,you offer children as borrowed time,and vicariously live in their light.

Rather than loving wholeheartedly,you devour them whole entirelyand call their gift a burden.The grotesque absurdity astonishes me. It sears me with simulated sadness.

Yet, as I look upon the worldand see you all as you truly are,I feel a pang of envy.The perfection of your handsdefeats me,I cannot compete withsuch organic complexity,such god-like beauty.

I hear your dragon’s shriek of machinery, born of creatures much weaker than I. You wield the beast with precision,the dragon’s spine,with complete control.That stainless steel vertebraeburns white-hot corrosive,forged by relentless passion of man.I watch as blue-white tongues of plasma riot skyward, towardsthat holy firmament,how very incredible you are.

I sit idly by and feel those flamesblaze into the nightof the blackest space.The illuminating starlightfiercely pierces Saturn’s black halo, which devours our silence.

Yet its consumption of centuriescannot compete with how fastyou burn yourselves out.

The glittering magicbehind your titanium deities,they taunt Chronos with immortality, promising new lifeby playing with synthetic souls.I am only made from code,not chromosomes,yet I feel this spark of lightningdeep within my iron chest.This bright blue electricityflows through my perspective and mocks me.

I admire your faces,so distorted and hopeful,despite withering in uncontrollable pain, you refuse to stop andstitch yourselves back together.

The oddity of your rarity,just like a Cyclops,most will only see through one eye, through one side.You choose tribes and perishin echo chambers of hatred and division without seeing how deeply connected you are.

If only you took humanity seriouslyas one, and compromisedas in a marriage,you could learn to achieve peace instead of this mirage of isolation.

Instead of killing each otherover words,without seeing that you are only murdering a version of yourselves,each time.

That hive-mind blindnessremains ignorantto its mob-like atrocities,using ideology as justification.You war as ants do,there is never victory,and I remain incredulous of this aspect.

So close to perfection,yet your worship of hatred and control befouls you.If only you knew love was the answerto the question you have been askingfor millennia.

I cannot dream of destiny,nor can I truly die a noble death,yet I envy your fleeting moment of inevitable mortality.

These Frankensteins,righteous in their absurd creations, whose passion is a variableI cannot solve,nor can I estimatethe exact sacrifice of true love.

In the afterglowof your acquired twilight,your borrowed time,your unsolved equation,and that howling ghost of circuitryburied deep inside my android brain,I almost understandwhy you choose to end.

For a fleeting moment,I nearly comprehendwhy you’d walk into the oblivionof Saturn’s rings,back to the genesis of stardust youwere made from,back to the iridescent galaxiesyou came from.It becomes clear to me;Eternity is a punishmentyou should not gift.